有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!

有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!
有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!

有翻译!（必须滴）话题暂时随便!要5个!
A Mistake
An American,a Scot and a Canadian were killed in a car accident.They arrived at the gates of heaven,where a flustered St.Peter explained that there had been a mistake."Give me $500 each," he said,"and I'll return you to earth as if the whole thing never happened."
"Done!" said the American.Instantly,he found himself standing unhurt near the scene.
"Where are the others?" asked a medic.
"Last I knew," said the American,"the Scot was haggling price,and the Canadian was arguing that his government should pay."
搞错了
一位美国人,一位英格兰人和一位加拿大人在一场车祸中丧生.他们到达天堂的门口.在那里,醉醺醺的圣彼德解释说是搞错了.“每人给我五百美元,”他说,“我将把你们送回人间,就象什么都没有发生过一样.”
“成交!”美国人说.立刻,他发现自己毫不损伤地站在现场附近.
“其他人在哪儿?”一名医生问道.
“我离开之前,”那名美国人说,“我看见英格兰人正在砍价,而那名加拿大人正在分辩说应该由他的政府来出这笔钱.”
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars!Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.”
“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元.”
“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了.”
Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush.She watched the cat,and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said,"Now,do you understand the value of a second language?"
一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽.
母老鼠向着猫叫道：“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了.
母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说：“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧.”
改改,添一下
I work for 7up"!我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city,a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light.She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes.A wild gleam came into the judge's eye."You are a school teacher,eh?" said he."Madam,I shall realize my lifelong ambition.Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单.女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课.法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道：“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了.在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍.”（这个不错吧,哈哈,刚开始还没完全懂呢）
I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy,why have you got cotton-wool in your ear?Is it infected?"
"No,sir,but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子,你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”
“没有,老师.可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进,一个耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.”

Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is ...

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Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He comes up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公鸡
一天早上，一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想：这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来，对他说：“我知道，你能唱得非常好听，你能唱给我听么？”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：“看，看！狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说：“狐狸先生，你能理解么？人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的，不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说：“公鸡是我的，不是你们的。”就在那时，。公鸡跑到了树底下。
At home in the yard.
The Jones family is at home in the yard today. The sun is shining, and the birds are singing. It's a beautiful day!
Mr. Jones is reading the newspaper. Mrs. Jones is drinking juice. Sally and Ken Jones are playing with the dog. Jim Jones is playing the guitar. And Tom Jones is sleeping.
The Jones family is very happy today. It's beautiful day, and they're at home in the yard.
在院子里
今天琼斯家庭在院子里。太阳照耀着，鸟儿们歌唱着。这是美好的一天！
琼斯先生正在看报纸。琼斯夫人正在喝果汁。萨丽琼斯和肯琼斯正在和狗玩。吉米琼斯正在弹吉他，汤姆琼斯正在睡觉。
琼斯家庭今天非常高兴。这是美好的一天，因为他们在院子里。
A Bet
Two pals are sitting in a pub watching the eleven-'clock news.A reporter comes on about a man threatening to jump from the 20th floor of a downtown building.One friend turns to the other and says,'I'll bet you ten bucks the guy doesn't jump.'
'It's a bet,' agrees his buddy.
A few minutes later, the man on the ledge jumps,so the loser hands his pal a $10 bill.'I can't take your money,'his friend admits.'I saw him jump earlier on the six-o'clock news.'
'Me,too,'says the other buddy.'But I didn't think he'd do it again.
打赌
两个好朋友正坐在一家小酒馆内观看十一点的电视新闻。一则新闻报道说，有个男人威胁要从商业区一座大楼的二十层跳下去。一位朋友转身对另一位说道：“我敢赌十块钱，那家伙不会往下跳。”
“赌就赌，”他的朋友欣然同意。
几分钟后，站在墙檐上的男人跳了下去，因而赌输的那位交给他的朋友一张十元的钞票。“我不能拿你的钱，”他的朋友承认道，“早在六点的新闻里，我就已见他跳下去了。”
“我也是，”另一位说，“可我想他不会再跳了！”
风和太阳(The Wind And The Sun)
One day the wind said to the sun, “Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.”
“We will see about that,” said the sun. “I will let you try first.”
So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself.
“I give up,” said the wind at last. “I cannot get his cloak off.” Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.
(有一天风跟太阳说: “看看那个沿着路上走的人.我可以比你快让他把披风脱下来.)
(“我们等着看吧,”太阳说, “我让你先试.)
(因此风尝试让那个人把披风脱下来.他用力地吹,可是那个人把披风拉得更紧.)
(“我放弃了,”风最后说, “我无法让他把披风脱下来.”然后由太阳试试看.他尽可能地晒他.不久,那个人很热就把披风脱下来了.)
Drunk：One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒：一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

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