这篇文章在雅思小作文里能拿多少分?Pie chartthe pie chart compares popularity of the various leisure activities of European adults in 1985 and 1995 .a glance at the proportion of leisure activities of European adults in 1985,It clearly

这篇文章在雅思小作文里能拿多少分?Pie chartthe pie chart compares popularity of the various leisure activities of European adults in 1985 and 1995 .a glance at the proportion of leisure activities of European adults in 1985,It clearly
这篇文章在雅思小作文里能拿多少分?
Pie chart
the pie chart compares popularity of the various leisure activities of European adults in 1985 and 1995 .
a glance at the proportion of leisure activities of European adults in 1985,It clearly reveals the most popular leisure activity is watching TV.Which account for 32 percent of total pie chart.the second popular activity is talking with friend,which account for 21 of the proportion.The following popular activities are eating out ,talking with family and other,which are 23 percent and 18 percent and 6 percent respectively.
By stark contrast,The proportion of leisure activities of European aults in 1995 is quite different from 1985.Watching TV is still the most popular activity in 1995,but It declined to 30% from 32%.Interestingly,Playing computer was suddenly occur bettween 1985 and 1995 also directly replace talking with friends that was second popular,Also playing computer account for 27 percent of the proportion.the talking with friends was increased to 26% in 1995.however,eating out and talking with family was declined rapidly from 23% to 8% and from 18% to 7% respectively.

这篇文章在雅思小作文里能拿多少分?Pie chartthe pie chart compares popularity of the various leisure activities of European adults in 1985 and 1995 .a glance at the proportion of leisure activities of European adults in 1985,It clearly
我没有看到图表,但是从文章上看应该是涵盖了图表里面的主要内容,并且有前后的对比内容.但是有几个问题：

这篇文章没有总结,雅思小作文是需要有一句总结的话的.

时态.这篇文章内容全部都是过去的事情,所以时态应该是以过去式为主.第二段里几乎都是一般现在时态,第三段后面就开始出现一般过去时态.

最后一段里面再说到电脑游戏的那句话,不是很通顺,有种中文直译的感觉.

语法：最后那两句,不用被动句式,主动就可以了.

 
所以这篇文章的成绩应该不会很高.

好厉害
95.5

很不错加油96

好厉害95分，不要骄傲继续加油。

50% `

6.5分 写的不错啊 加油